Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Do not use this product

Do not use this product
if you have heart disease,
liver problems, high blood pressure,
persistent cough or chronic
breathing problems.

Also not a good idea if you
are pregnant or breast-feeding,
taking drugs for depression,
psychiatric or emotional conditions,
if you have Parkinson’s disease,
or if you just want your kids to go to sleep.

If you do decide to take this
product, do not drink alcohol,
drive, or operate heavy machinery.
Try to avoid people with whom
you may be tempted to get into a
fight, as you will be darn irritable.

Keep out of the reach of children,
both you and these pills. Do not
take more than directed. If you do,
contact the Poison Control Center
right away, at the number unfortunately
obscured by the price tag on the right.

Then again, if you have managed
to read this far, you’re probably
going to pull through.


Brian Miller said...

hahaha...so true man the side affects make it almost not worth it to take medication these days...i think we may just be screwing ourselves up more

Pat Hatt said...

hahahaha yes side affects galore seem to be on everything in every store. Most medication is garbage anyway, fun verse here today.

lori said...

It is crazy how many of those commercials on are these days. It's almost all that you see. Crazy times we live when pharmaceutical companies are just legal drug-pushers :(

jen revved said...

since I[m about to take my second vicodin of the night, this really made me chuckle. Don't take anything, but you need it. See the second down poem at my blog for a tribute to MJ. xxxj

lynne said...

Touche".. it amazes me all the "warning" signs on certain things and I think, well, damn I'll be better off suffering..

fun write!!

Ann LeFlore said...

wow this is great especially on TV now they advertise so much and then tell of the effects afterwards makes you not want to take this at all

Steve King said...

I've always wondered why the creators of miracle cures invest so much air time to convince us not to use them... Nicely done send up of the marketers.

Morning said...

lovely advice delivered in a fun way.
way to go.

johnallenrichter said...

hahahahaaha...... so very true.......! Snake oil, all of them......

Charles Elliott/Beautyseer said...

Made me laugh. You captured the pomposity of the "instructions" and warnings on those labels. Exactly right! My favorite potential side effect on many of these prescription potions is, of course, DEATH!

The Orange Tree said...

fun humor.

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a free verse is accepted.
visit me to see the agreement, leave your entry via comment if you don't know how to submit via inlinkz yet.