Tuesday, November 15, 2011

*** Terms and conditions apply

*** Listen, we know everyone likes a
good deal, but good grief, we couldn’t afford
the rent on these posh New York offices,
or the mural in the executive
washroom, if we actually paid out
on this outrageous offer. So get real:
you are not eligible if you are
bald, foreign, introverted or stupid.
If you’re a chef or a plumber, no way.
Pro athletes need not apply. Same for cops.
We love hunky guys named Cole.  (Just kidding).
Actually, unless you’re a drug lord,
you are willing to bonk our CEO,
or you have a lawyer on six figures
you can lean over and kiss your tuckus.
It’s time for our massage. Have a nice day.


Pat Hatt said...

haha pretty much the way it works, sad but true.

Brian Miller said...

haha this rocks...love the attitude that breathes through it...all about the money money money.....

Heaven said...

Had a good laugh on this...true, everything is about money ~

Laurie Kolp said...

Very clever and true, Andrew.

jen revved said...

Compact and powerful-- such a strong message here re our culture of greed..or that 1 percent's culture. This piece would incite and satisfy those able and willing to take a stand...xxxj

hedgewitch said...

You said it, man. It's 'if you ain't us you're them,' and them don't make the cut. The privileged don't even have to go bald anymore, though I'm not too sure about the stupid condition.

Shashi said...

Hi Andrew

Interesting take...

ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya

Promising Poets Parking Lot said...


fun word play with wide topics, wow.